Author Archives: Dr. Aliye Kurt - Suedhoff

Self-handicapping: Are you sabotaging yourself to avoid evaluation or failure?

I was watching an old episode of Grey’s Anatomy – my only TV addiction – where a lawyer who’s about to take the Bar exam in a few days for the 5th time is brought in for severe burns in … Continue reading

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Do you know when to call it quits? (II)

And yes, sometimes the direction is right, but the way of getting there – well, not so much… This is also a tough one since the thought “But I am moving towards my goal/destination/vision” can prevent you from recognizing that … Continue reading

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Do you know when to call it quits? (I)

Mobility. The capability to move or to be moved. Ability to move or adapt, change or be changed. To move in the direction you want in a fulfilling manner. This is the definition of mobility Timothy Gallwey uses in his … Continue reading

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Falling prey to “False Consensus Effect”: Are you normalizing your success?

In a study published 10 years ago Cornell University psychologists David Dunning and Justin Krueger (now at NYU) demonstrated an interesting relationship between competence and self-confidence. Their findings showed that incompetent people were also unaware of their incompetence and tended … Continue reading

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“Confidence always needs to be a half-step ahead of competence”

This is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard of recently. Really, take a moment and let that sink… It is very precise about what should come first and by how much. When you think about it makes … Continue reading

Posted in competence, learning, self-esteem, Self-limiting beliefs, Vision | Leave a comment

Time travel: Will I really want to go for a run at 6 a.m. tomorrow?

How many times have you found yourself being puzzled about not being able to follow up on your goals although you were so convinced when you set them? Examples?

Posted in goals, mood, motivation, self-regulation | 2 Comments

Make it automatic!

I wish the title was related to a way I’ve found to make my blogs automatic but when I am on (a looong) vacation there’s still an inevitable gap. Rather, the title is about how to make our action-taking automatic … Continue reading

Posted in Automatic processes, goals, implementation intentions, motivation | Leave a comment

Three fundamental human needs (Part 4): Can we be both autonomous and connected at the same time?

I think this is a question that many people struggle with from time to time.  The apparent conflict lies in thinking in terms of being autonomous/ independent versus connected as if these are two opposite ends of a continuum. If … Continue reading

Posted in autonomous, beliefs, connectedness, expectations, fundamental needs, Ideal self, need to belong, ought self, perspectives, self-awareness, social norm | Leave a comment

Three fundamental human needs (Part 3): Being competent

One of the reasons why many of us are reluctant to try new endeavors is our need to feel competent. Especially if you are used to feeling competent in different domains in your work, relationships or leisurely activities it is … Continue reading

Posted in Automatic processes, change, competence, expatriates, expats, fundamental needs, language, learning, self-awareness, self-compassion, self-control, Self-limiting beliefs | Leave a comment

Three fundamental human needs (Part 2): How well are you fitting in?

Last time I wrote about one of our fundamental needs – the need to belong. There are a number of secondary needs that result from that. Wanting to fit in is a consequence of our need to belong.

Posted in expats, language, need to belong, perspectives, self-awareness, self-compassion, social exclusion | Leave a comment